Rekindling My Relationship With the Gym

I used to be a gym rat.

I spent seven years going to the gym. I enjoyed working out. I enjoyed the atmosphere and the common folk who attended. It was my second home.

I started in the Summer 2010. I began my journey with cardio. I spent a lot of time on the treadmill and cross trainer. By October 2010, I ran my first 5K. It was simply amazing achieving that goal. As a result, I continued to go to the gym on a regular basis.

Throughout the years, it was my form of therapy and stress reliever. I was commuting to school every day, attending long hours in education courses. As soon as I got home, I would make the effort and workout. Not only did it feel great to have a good workout in, but it also felt great to socialize with the regulars. Those who attended this small gym weren’t all young and hip. Some were older, maintaining their health. Others were there just to get out of their house. It was something I looked forward to.

Keep in mind that I wasn’t extremely serious about how I looked. I wasn’t toned. I still ate everything I wanted. I simply enjoyed the post-workout experience and feeling once I went home. 

January 2018 (left): I was on my way to hitting an all-time low in my life. Now (right): I haven’t been back to the gym since. I have my ups and down physically, mentally, and emotionally. I look forward to returning to this fitness journey.

I didn’t get obsessed with it until Summer 2017. I was dealing with a lot of personal issues. Anxiety and depression was coming to surface. I simply couldn’t hold in my anxiety anymore like I used to. I wasn’t eating a lot. I lifted weights hard. I was seeing those results I would see on social media. I loved it and I wanted more of it. I was becoming obsessed with my physical appearance.

I stopped going to the gym in the Spring 2018 after my divorce. I simply stopped talking to people. My mental health was getting worse. Life was getting harder for me as I had to start over in my life. The only things I had going at the time were my family and job.

Over the years, I wanted to go back to the gym because I missed working out. I missed the interaction along with the availability of equipment. I couldn’t muster the courage to visit a new gym and start over. The thought of it made me extremely anxious.

Last Tuesday, I began another adventure by going back to the gym again. Josh has encouraged me to try again. I was scared and anxious at first, but I was able to get through my emotions and start. We spent at least 45 minutes at the gym before we left. I am honestly glad that I took that first step because honestly, it isn’t easy. Especially when I had emotional and mental ties to fitness. I hope I can do this again without having the mental breakdowns and the fear of losing everything again. 

I’ll be keeping you all up to date on how things are going. I look forward to bouncing back and being the best version of myself.

Stay adventurous,

Natalie

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